I'm such an idiot when it comes to this...I don't know why I allow such a small and stupid feeling to affect me to this extent. Its like a splinter in the skin or a pebble in my shoe; tiny but still big enough to occupy that uncomfortable space in the back of my mind. But it seems the more I try not to think about it, the more I do think about it; the more I attempt to ignore it, the more my heart cringes. But why and for what? And thats where it becomes ridiculous: there is no reason for me to feel this way. Its really not even worth mentioning because then I've given in to it...but here I am blogging about it in light-hearted frustration. Such a catch 22 if there ever was one. I think I'm doing this just to punish myself by reminding me how absurd I truly am...hahaha, this is gonna be really funny to look back on later. (Hopefully, funny in the good way and not funny in a pitiful one.)
I guess the only way to deal with it is to allow it to linger a bit without neglecting its presence...acknowledging it until it fades away. Hopefully, all this silliness departs shortly but I've discovered in the past that the longer I fight it, the longer it remains...the only real remedy is to fully accept it which, somehow, simultaneously pains my heart and sets it free making such course of action not only necessary but bittersweet.
(Great start in 2006, sport...let's try to pick it up from here huh? Hahaha.)