phil 4.11

I am content; for the first time I can say that with full confidence.

Are there things I still hope for? Yeah.

Are there things my heart desires? Maybe one or two (for now).

But overall?

I think I've found that equilibrium that has eluded me for the past few years.

Life is full of peaks and valleys,

deserts and mountaintops,

oceans and plateaus...

For awhile there, I felt like I was standing on the precipice just waiting...

for what, I don't know...

maybe for this, maybe not.

I don't believe I've reached that place yet but I feel that I'll be fine...

a sense of peace that had been lacking before this revelation.

Maybe I'm still on that same edge waiting to dive into something

greater than myself...

only He knows for sure.

What I do know is that I'm now waiting with unabated breath,

no longer holding it in full of anxiety,

no longer consumed by frustration,

no longer feeling stuck and idle...

this new season of life has ushered in a sense of direction and motion...

still waiting on Him but no longer waiting still...

not stationary but traveling and exploring

while listening and abiding...

not anxious but eager

for the good stuff He has in store

and has prepared for me

to do and experience.