"We loved you so much that we gave you not only God's Good News but our own lives, too." 1 Thes. 2:8
I've been thinking of that word "gave"...my friend Kyle pointed out how Paul didn't say that they just shared or invited others to simply participate in their lives but that they "gave" it as though Paul knew that it took such a complete offering in order to fully impact people. I must admit that I don't know what that truly entails or even looks like...I do know that when you give someone something, the object belongs entirely to the other person and, technically, without any strings attached. Even as I think about the implications of such action, I'm find myself uncomfortable at the thought of opening my life to what seems like drastic measures. The next question that infiltrates my mind is how am I to fully give my life to others if I still hold back some of it from Christ? I would love nothing more than to say that have I offered myself as a living sacrifice and have fully relinquished the desires of my life and heart to God...well, I've made the offer numerous times but seem to always rescind it or fail to deliver. There are areas in my life and in my heart that I don't know how to freely give to Him let alone my friend or neighbor. I don't believe this issue of holding back stems out of a lack of trust in God but born more from selfish desires to grip tightly to what little belongs to me even when I know I really don't not own any of it.
I remember having this ginormous crush on this girl named Cathy Costa in the 6th grade. All her friends knew about it, and I'm sure she knew as well but was sweet enough to not to ever bring it up whenever we were around each other. Anyhow, I had bought her these really nice earrings and gave them to her on the last day of school thinking that I'd never see her again anyway since I was transferring to another school (there are limits to my bravery). I recall being really excited and nervous and happy simultaneously as I fumbled words together in my dorky attempt to demonstrate my feelings to the prettiest girl in the world. Being such the sweetheart that she was, she gave me a huge smile and the best hug I've ever had up to that point in my life. I was absolutely beaming that whole summer long; nothing fazed me for the next few months.
I think about how wonderful and thrilled I felt when I gave those earrings to Cathy Costa, and it saddens me to think that the complete opposite happens when it comes to God; not that I desire to simply be infatuated but how I wish to explode with joy and anticipation and love as I give myself wholly to the Father knowing that He responds overwhelming better that any person ever can. I so desire to have my life driven by the love that Paul talks about in that verse and not be limited by childish fear or selfish indulgences. I just don't know how to do so; more accurately and to be honest, it seems I don't want to find out.
I can't help but to think what Paul is saying in that verse is that its simply not enough to share Christ if I don't give of myself as well...the method of delivery is as crucial and important as the message itself...that true love draws both these things out from a person...
Father, it is my prayer that you lead to a place of brokenness where only You can heal the pieces...I don't know how to give You my life any other way...I also don't think You would want it any other way...
Sidenote: Cathy ended up transferring to the same school I moved to the following year. How embarrassed was I when I ran into her on the second day of school?
I've been thinking of that word "gave"...my friend Kyle pointed out how Paul didn't say that they just shared or invited others to simply participate in their lives but that they "gave" it as though Paul knew that it took such a complete offering in order to fully impact people. I must admit that I don't know what that truly entails or even looks like...I do know that when you give someone something, the object belongs entirely to the other person and, technically, without any strings attached. Even as I think about the implications of such action, I'm find myself uncomfortable at the thought of opening my life to what seems like drastic measures. The next question that infiltrates my mind is how am I to fully give my life to others if I still hold back some of it from Christ? I would love nothing more than to say that have I offered myself as a living sacrifice and have fully relinquished the desires of my life and heart to God...well, I've made the offer numerous times but seem to always rescind it or fail to deliver. There are areas in my life and in my heart that I don't know how to freely give to Him let alone my friend or neighbor. I don't believe this issue of holding back stems out of a lack of trust in God but born more from selfish desires to grip tightly to what little belongs to me even when I know I really don't not own any of it.
I remember having this ginormous crush on this girl named Cathy Costa in the 6th grade. All her friends knew about it, and I'm sure she knew as well but was sweet enough to not to ever bring it up whenever we were around each other. Anyhow, I had bought her these really nice earrings and gave them to her on the last day of school thinking that I'd never see her again anyway since I was transferring to another school (there are limits to my bravery). I recall being really excited and nervous and happy simultaneously as I fumbled words together in my dorky attempt to demonstrate my feelings to the prettiest girl in the world. Being such the sweetheart that she was, she gave me a huge smile and the best hug I've ever had up to that point in my life. I was absolutely beaming that whole summer long; nothing fazed me for the next few months.
I think about how wonderful and thrilled I felt when I gave those earrings to Cathy Costa, and it saddens me to think that the complete opposite happens when it comes to God; not that I desire to simply be infatuated but how I wish to explode with joy and anticipation and love as I give myself wholly to the Father knowing that He responds overwhelming better that any person ever can. I so desire to have my life driven by the love that Paul talks about in that verse and not be limited by childish fear or selfish indulgences. I just don't know how to do so; more accurately and to be honest, it seems I don't want to find out.
I can't help but to think what Paul is saying in that verse is that its simply not enough to share Christ if I don't give of myself as well...the method of delivery is as crucial and important as the message itself...that true love draws both these things out from a person...
Father, it is my prayer that you lead to a place of brokenness where only You can heal the pieces...I don't know how to give You my life any other way...I also don't think You would want it any other way...
Sidenote: Cathy ended up transferring to the same school I moved to the following year. How embarrassed was I when I ran into her on the second day of school?
posted by danny at 7/20/2006 09:51:00 PM
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