Tommy

As I was looking at flights for my trip home for my brother's graduation, I couldn't help but think about our relationship. We don't have the best one, at least not the one I would like and a large part of that is my fault. I don't think that I've been or am a bad brother but I do recall times where I've messed up big time and was too stubborn to admit it or too proud to back down. I can see how I've acted out of anger or self-interest or arrogance during certain periods of time...done and said stupid things I knew better than to have done and said. Look, I know we all make mistakes and would like all our relationships to be better and I don't want this to sound like a pity party or anything but there were so many times when I knew it was within my power to guide him or say the right thing or set aside time to hang with him and yet, I didn't...all those missed or wasted moments kept me up all last night. I mean, I can't remember the last time I hugged my brother...how sad is that? I know that him and I are both responsible to make this thing work, but I know I'm not the big brother I want him to see me as, and that realization completely breaks me...I extended myself to and for others but neglected to do so when it came to you, and I'm so sorry for that.