Vietnam

thoughts to come...

leaving on a jet plane...

Finally, school and work are done (at least for a few weeks), and I'm flying to Vietnam tomorrow! This is one of the few times that I've been nervous before going somewhere; I probably won't even sleep tonight plus I still gotta do laundry and pack. I'll be leaving the freezing conditions here in New York and heading towards hot, tropical weather so I gotta find all the summer clothes I've stored deep in my closet. Anyway, I get to have a fantastic dinner at Ric and Torie's tonight; I won't be seeing them and Jonah for awhile since they leave for Cali (yeah!) before I get back. Oh, and I got the Double J-man a pretty sweet Christmas gift. I hope it fits him though; the kid is like a little man.

holiday season

Christmas time is definitely here in New York...the air is crisper and chillier with the biting wind coming around again. There always seems to be more people around after the Christmas Tree is lit at Rockefeller Center. There are lights and sounds everywhere, Christmas music is heard whenever you pass by the stores, trees lined up on the sidewalk to be sold, people all bundled up in their thick coats and gloves and scarves...the only thing missing is the snow which will come soon enough. I don't like the cold so much but I enjoy this time of year in the city.

"Christian Dating"

After a couple of conversations about dating with my good friends Ric and Scott who, incidentally, are the mission director and pastor of the 411, I have come to a few conclusions; well, I shouldn't say conclusions seeing how I'm still working through and processing some of the things that came up. Before I even get started, I must say that I'm not currently dating a non-Christian girl; to be honest, I'm not even really dating at all so this isn't some kind of defense to be used as justification. Basically, what started these talks is my belief that going out with a non-Christian girl isn't wrong. Now, I know the Bible talks about not being yoked together with those outside the faith; I get that...I understand how that verse speaks of committing to relationships where one's priority and values will clash with the other person who isn't a follower of Christ; this verse is mainly used as a warning against a Christian marrying a non-Christian but thats limiting its scope if you really think about (thats another conversation entirely). Ric believes dating is a means to an end, that dating someone eventually leads you to decide if marriage is the outcome of the relationship with that person. There is a long-term aspect that is attached to it. While I do agree that as a follower of Christ, I shouldn't marry a non-follower, I don't see relationships as merely a means but as an end in and of themselves as well; I can't bring myself to view every potential relationship through the lens of marriage possibility. I think there is value in a relationship on its own merit; for instance, there are experiences and lessons about yourself and/or the other person that are learned and discovered through circumstances and the journey of life together. I do acknowledge that these times and moments build upon each other and may propel two people to different levels of commitment and affection. Because of that, I kinda see the practicality in the exclusion of non-believers when it comes to romantic endeavors. However, I have a tough time forcing myself to think about whether or not I'm gonna live the rest of my life with someone before I really know her or even ask her out; thoughts on the possibility of marriage at the onset of a new relationship is a foreign concept to me. I could probably drag this on for another 15 minutes but I have, so far, concluded:
1) Different people have different meanings when it come to "dating". For some, it means a serious and committed pursuit of a life-long mate. For others, its more like "going out" or "seeing someone" where it isn't as serious. Still for others, its simply an activity single people engage in.
2) I have never been in a serious relationship; heck, I haven't even been in a relationship. Thus, I think my perception of relationships is skewered because of that. Since I've never experienced what its like to be in a committed relationship, I find it difficult to see past the short-term aspect of them.
3) Even now, my prayer in this area is that God will continue to work in me so that I'll be ready for the girl He's already preparing for me to meet. I honestly leave all that in His hands. What I'm saying is that I don't think that the mantra of "You shouldn't date a non-Christian" is applicable across the board. Again, maybe my use of the word "date" isn't specific enough. The different boundaries and levels and details of "dating" are stuff I still haven't gotten around to define yet; to me, if I have to examine and quantify and regulate things when it comes to relationships, it doesn't sound worthwhile...

Vietnam

My aunts are taking me home to Vietnam next month...whenever I think about it, my mind races about and multiple thoughts swirl around. This will be my first trip back since I left the country when I was two. Even though I was too young to remember anything substantial, images and sounds from those two years sometime come to the forefront of my mind when I allow myself the time and space to dwell on Vietnam. Meeting relatives, seeing the places where I came from and where my mom lived, being united with those of my own ancestry, being inudated with the culture and people...and all for the first time; man, it blows my mind. What do I say, how do I act, who will I meet, will I be able to even sleep over there with all the new and exciting things that'll surely happen...as I ask myself these trivial things, I'm filled with joy to know that its not the answers that I'm looking forward to finding out but the experience of going through them. Since I've moved out here, the Lord has allowed me to have one experience of a lifetime after another; I know for sure that this will be another one of those life-changing, paradigm-altering times. God is good!

New Orleans-Trip Two

Being back in New Orleans was alot different than the first time back in January...different in more of a good way than a bad way. I really didn't know what to expect which is, honestly, the manner in which I like to experience life so it worked out fine. The first thing that is most evident is number of people who've come back to rebuild and live in the city again; the streets are busier, more stores and restaurants are open, street lights are on...just the little things that you notice which give indication that New Orleans is slowly moving forward,and the operative word there is slowly. While alot has been done, there still alot more to do. There were parts of the city that haven't been touched...a couple of our projects were with houses that nobody has been to since Katrina hit.
We stayed at Jeff Box's church at Suburban Baptist. The last time we were here, we helped get the place ready for their first church service since the hurricane so it was cool to take part in what they've done since and see their plans to expand the church even more. I got to work in Lee and Bonnie's house as well. Again, it was good to how far along they've come since we were there in January...Bonnie was so incredibly happy with her new kitchen; being how its the center of the house and the place where the whole family can finally come together for dinner, I couldn't help but be filled with the same joy. I remember how stark and cold it looked with the ground floor and studs and now to see it taking shape as a true home was amazing. And of course it was more than just a house, the progress and work also symbolizes the mending of their lives and the healing of a broken community.
And I think thats what stuck with me this time around...I know that whenever we work, its unto the Lord but when you get the opportunity to help and serve those you know personally, its always a little more special. To be able to put a face to a name or meet the person whose house you're gutting or whose lawn you're clearing is always a memorable experience. Personally, meeting people and spending time serving or sharing with them about life, sports, God, etc., is a large part in why I chose to come back to New Orleans. I've said it before, it is a great city filled with great people.

my one year

Before the Artery began tonight, I realized that today marked my one year of being here in New York. That is so crazy...I can't believe its been 365 days already! Just goes to show that you never really know where God is leading ya. As I was thinking about all that has happened in my own life during this past year, all the happenings in my family and friends' lives since I moved to NYC came to mind as well. Here are some things that crossed my mental processes:
1) Adam moved to SF 2) Aaron went to Ghana 3) Emily graduated 4) Tommy graduated and just started at Berkeley 5) Kristi and Craig had their first baby girl 6) Jason and Jen had their first child 7) Ric and Torie had their first child as well 8) None of us are on high school staff any longer and 9) I'm frickin' 26!
There are a bunch of other things that I'm recalling even as I'm posting this...I look forward to seeing where I'm at next September 12th, and I just don't mean physically.

The most simple stroll down the block can turn into a journey of discovery and amazement. This place is perfect for people watching and casual observation (a couple of things I truly enjoy) as well...just some more reasons why I'm fascinated by this city.

"We loved you so much that we gave you not only God's Good News but our own lives, too." 1 Thes. 2:8
I've been thinking of that word "gave"...my friend Kyle pointed out how Paul didn't say that they just shared or invited others to simply participate in their lives but that they "gave" it as though Paul knew that it took such a complete offering in order to fully impact people. I must admit that I don't know what that truly entails or even looks like...I do know that when you give someone something, the object belongs entirely to the other person and, technically, without any strings attached. Even as I think about the implications of such action, I'm find myself uncomfortable at the thought of opening my life to what seems like drastic measures. The next question that infiltrates my mind is how am I to fully give my life to others if I still hold back some of it from Christ? I would love nothing more than to say that have I offered myself as a living sacrifice and have fully relinquished the desires of my life and heart to God...well, I've made the offer numerous times but seem to always rescind it or fail to deliver. There are areas in my life and in my heart that I don't know how to freely give to Him let alone my friend or neighbor. I don't believe this issue of holding back stems out of a lack of trust in God but born more from selfish desires to grip tightly to what little belongs to me even when I know I really don't not own any of it.
I remember having this ginormous crush on this girl named Cathy Costa in the 6th grade. All her friends knew about it, and I'm sure she knew as well but was sweet enough to not to ever bring it up whenever we were around each other. Anyhow, I had bought her these really nice earrings and gave them to her on the last day of school thinking that I'd never see her again anyway since I was transferring to another school (there are limits to my bravery). I recall being really excited and nervous and happy simultaneously as I fumbled words together in my dorky attempt to demonstrate my feelings to the prettiest girl in the world. Being such the sweetheart that she was, she gave me a huge smile and the best hug I've ever had up to that point in my life. I was absolutely beaming that whole summer long; nothing fazed me for the next few months.
I think about how wonderful and thrilled I felt when I gave those earrings to Cathy Costa, and it saddens me to think that the complete opposite happens when it comes to God; not that I desire to simply be infatuated but how I wish to explode with joy and anticipation and love as I give myself wholly to the Father knowing that He responds overwhelming better that any person ever can. I so desire to have my life driven by the love that Paul talks about in that verse and not be limited by childish fear or selfish indulgences. I just don't know how to do so; more accurately and to be honest, it seems I don't want to find out.
I can't help but to think what Paul is saying in that verse is that its simply not enough to share Christ if I don't give of myself as well...the method of delivery is as crucial and important as the message itself...that true love draws both these things out from a person...
Father, it is my prayer that you lead to a place of brokenness where only You can heal the pieces...I don't know how to give You my life any other way...I also don't think You would want it any other way...

Sidenote: Cathy ended up transferring to the same school I moved to the following year. How embarrassed was I when I ran into her on the second day of school?

I have spent 169 hours, 32 minutes and 55 seconds talking to people on my current cell phone...thats over 7 straight days of dialogue and checking the voicemail. Is just me or does that sound crazy to anyone else as well?

Wow, my time back home flew by so quick! It was cool(and a bit weird at times) to see and connect with everyone. However, its good to be in New York again and getting back into the swing of things. What is up with the flippin' weather here?

“What lies behind us and before us are tiny matters

compared to what lies within us."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

LA roadtrip

So, I came up with this awesome idea to have a roadtrip to LA for my brother and some of his buddies to celebrate their high school graduation which turned out to be one of the best trips I've ever taken. We stayed in the OC Friday night, rode all the sweet coasters at Magic Moutain Saturday, and caught some sun at Huntington Beach Sunday afternoon. I'm glad I got time to hang out with Tommy and Laurie...I hadn't realized how much I miss hearing them talk or seeing them laugh until we were on the road having a good time playing Taboo. Its good to see them growing up with their own lives and everything...memories of us playing around as kids come to mind; I'm filled with joy knowing that we made some more lasting memories this weekend.

Tomster the grad

I can't believe my little brother has finally graduated from high school. The days of waking up early to take him to school or waiting after school to pick him up or taking him to practice are all gone and done with. Now, its off to UC Berkeley next year...I'm proud of ya, bro!

Home, sweet home!

As much as I have grown to love New York, its so flippin' good to be back home! I don't know how else to describe being back in familiar surroundings with family and friends other than that it just feels like home. I know I'm gonna have a fantastic time in the next week and a half. Yeah!

baby season

Congrats to Jason and Jen for having David Michael Jones (5lbs 10oz, 19.5 inches) as well as Ric and Torie for having Jonah Jackson White (8lbs 9oz, 21 inches). Everyone is doing well, and I can't wait to see little David when I come home. Praise God for the wonderful blessings in our lives.
Sidenote: It seems that a bunch of my friends have recently or will shortly either have kids or get married, and I still don't have a girlfriend...great.

Just got done booking my flight home! And JetBlue better be all that b/c it cost me a pretty penny. In less than a month, I get to sleep on my wonderful futon, watch TV on my lovely flat-screen, drive my fantastic Civic...and, oh yeah, see my amazing family and friends. I'm going, going back, back, to Cali, Cali, uhhh!

Congrats, Craig and Kristi!

I just got word that Kristi just delivered a beautiful baby girl named Eloise(Elle or El) Linnea Nolan! I can't wait to see the new edition to the Nolan household next month when I come home...that little girl is gonna get spoiled big time! Here are the stats:
8lbs, 3 oz/21.5 inches/ darkish wavy hair/ dark blue eyes

Steven flippin' Spielberg!

Smokes, I shook hands with Mr. Spielberg last Saturday night! I mean, this is the cinematic genius responsible for ET, Jaws, Indiana Jones, Hook...the man revolutionize film-making with incredible CGI/live action integration in Jurassic Park and amazing first-person action in Saving Private Ryan. He's so much more of a compelling story-teller than a Hollywood director...Schindler's List, Amistad, Munich, The Color Purple...I can go on and on. I had a bunch of things I had wanted to say to him, but all I could manage was some gibberish about my name and a photo. Its gonna be hard to top this encounter!

Tommy

As I was looking at flights for my trip home for my brother's graduation, I couldn't help but think about our relationship. We don't have the best one, at least not the one I would like and a large part of that is my fault. I don't think that I've been or am a bad brother but I do recall times where I've messed up big time and was too stubborn to admit it or too proud to back down. I can see how I've acted out of anger or self-interest or arrogance during certain periods of time...done and said stupid things I knew better than to have done and said. Look, I know we all make mistakes and would like all our relationships to be better and I don't want this to sound like a pity party or anything but there were so many times when I knew it was within my power to guide him or say the right thing or set aside time to hang with him and yet, I didn't...all those missed or wasted moments kept me up all last night. I mean, I can't remember the last time I hugged my brother...how sad is that? I know that him and I are both responsible to make this thing work, but I know I'm not the big brother I want him to see me as, and that realization completely breaks me...I extended myself to and for others but neglected to do so when it came to you, and I'm so sorry for that.