Wednesday, September 20, 2006

"Prayer cannot truly be taught by principles and seminars and symposiums. It has to be born out of a whole environment of felt need. If I say,"I ought to pray," I will soon run out of motivation and quit; the flesh is too strong. I have to be driven to pray."
"The more we pray, the more we sense our need to pray. And the more we sense a need to pray, the more we want to pray."
Jim Cymbala

I can tell you right off the bat, I am not driven to pray. I think back and recall very few instances were I have been. My "prayer life" seems very removed from the rest of me, seems a bit contrived at times if I'm being honest with myself. I have been taught the formula, given the appropriate words, indoctrinated with the correct mindset but the bottom line is that when I come before the Lord in prayer, I forget who it is I'm connecting with...I dismiss the holy fear associated with encountering my King...I relegate prayer to mere words and phrases removing the essence of the Spirit and the connection of the heart. In my mind, it always seems to be "I ought to pray" or "we ought to pray" and hardly ever "I/we cannot do anything else before I/we come before the Lord". Ric is right on when he says that we spend more time talking about God than talking with Him (or something to that effect). The New Testament speaks of praying without ceasing which makes me wonder if the reason why they were always connected was because they couldn't fathom life apart from that experience of genuine spiritual intimacy with the Father. I read about the early church and can't help but see how much of their lives are dependent on God through a heart-felt need for prayer. Maybe that is why I'm not driven as they were; I've somehow, somewhere along the way convinced myself that I don't actually need God? How horrifying is that?

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