Lots of stuff happening in and around today. First and foremost, Happy Birthday Jen! Its also Halloween which gives some girls an excuse to dress really provacative (and thats using the conservative adjective). Furthermore, its the eve of the 2005-2006 NBA season. Yeaaah! Finally get to see Kobe and Phil in action along with the Spurs (who, by the way, are my pick to take it again this year). The Eastern conference is gonna be much better this year though with the Heat improving, Lebron super hungry for the playoffs, and the big 3 in Jersey all healthy. Some sweet b-ball this season...
Last but not least, today officially marks the beginning of the holiday season. So soon, you may ask. Heck yup, I reply. From here on out, its a quick jump to Turkey day which then takes us right into the madness this world defines as Christmas. Ahhh, I already smell the pushing and shoving and parking jams and 4 hour long lines...glorious.

Still not dreaming...can your mind be too busy to dream?

SNL 3 / the 411

Another sweet show last night. Lance did pretty well being that he isn't an entertainer, and his fiance, Sheryl wasn't too shabby either. I took my first pic with Amy Poehler; I was actually a little taken back by how beautiful she is in person. I got to hang with Will Forte for a bit again. I also met this guy named Louis and his wife, Jamie, who have been coming to the show for like 30 years. They actually have permanent seats for SNL but still enjoy standing in line to be part of the whole experience. It was cool because he knows everyone related to SNL;they all come over and talk with him and some of them even went to his wedding. The whole night, he's telling stories after stories about the show and the cast. Pretty cool guy.
The 411 was amazing again this morning. I'm really starting to feel that this church is where I belong. The people are wonderful, the teaching is very deep and challenging, and the worship is...is special. They did a song this morning that I had heard for the first time last week...its incredible:

God of Glory, God of Might,

King of Heaven, Lord of Light

Though my ways are less than wise

I come to praise You (I come to praise You)

Jesus, Master, Savior, Friend

Your mercy seems to have no end

And though all I have to bring is sin

I come to praise You ( I come to praise You)

And my rightousness, is as filthy rags

But You exchange them for the good things that You have

Lord, I want to sing...

I wanna sing You a song, I wanna lift up my voice

As I lift my hands, Lord I make my choice

That from this moment on until the end of my days

I want to offer up my life as a sacrifice of praise,

As a sacrifice of praise

Bono

I have never been a big fan of U2. Nothing against them, I can see why they are so popular, and I even like some of their songs. I just figure since I didn't grow up with their music and the environment in which it was created, I would have a lot of catching up to do if I were to start. But I am a huge fan of Bono...I have nothing but the utmost respect for the man in all facets but the most being for his never-ending quest for social justice, primarily in dealing with debt relief and AIDS treatment for those who can't help themselves. There is an excellent interview in the latest Rolling Stones magazine in which Bono is very blunt, as he usually is, about his music, his faith, and his unyielding passion to help. When you think about what this man has accomplished in his lifetime, its incredible...he is the single most influential, most compassionate entertainer alive. And whether the established church agrees with his methods or life, there is no denying his heart for people and his personal journey to discover God on his own terms. Heres a bit of it:
What is your religious belief today? What is your concept of God?
If I could put it simply, I would say that I believe there's a force of love and logic in the world, a force of love and logic behind the universe. And I believe in the poetic genius of a creator who would choose to express such unfathomable power as a child born in "straw poverty"; i.e., the story of Christ makes sense to me.
How does it make sense?
As an artist, I see the poetry of it. It's so brilliant. That this scale of creation, and the unfathomable universe, should describe itself in such vulnerability, as a child. That is mind-blowing to me. I guess that would make me a Christian. Although I don't use the label, because it is so very hard to live up to. I feel like I'm the worst example of it, so I just kinda keep my mouth shut.
Do you pray or have any religious practices?
I try to take time out of every day, in prayer and meditation. I feel as at home in a Catholic cathedral as in a revival tent. I also have enormous respect for my friends who are atheists, most of whom are, and the courage it takes not to believe.
How big an influence is the Bible on your songwriting? How much do you draw on its imagery, its ideas?
It sustains me.
What do you think of the evangelical movement that we see in the United States now?
I'm wary of faith outside of actions. I'm wary of religiosity that ignores the wider world. In 2001, only seven percent of evangelicals polled felt it incumbent upon themselves to respond to the AIDS emergency. This appalled me. I asked for meetings with as many church leaders as would have them with me. I used my background in the Scriptures to speak to them about the so-called leprosy of our age and how I felt Christ would respond to it. And they had better get to it quickly, or they would be very much on the other side of what God was doing in the world.

Congratulations Ron! Your White Sox just won the World Series in dominating fashion...they join the illustrious club of teams who average one championship evey 9 decades alongside the non-existent Red Sox. Great job everyone!

urban loud-mouths

I have always held street preachers, or urban loud-mouths as I like to call them, in disdain. But it has never really affected me until I moved out here. In the city, they are everywhere; bus stops, subways, in front of restaurants. As a follower of Christ, I can't stand to see or hear them spew hatred and condemnation from their mouths. And if I can't tolerate it, I can't imagine those who don't believe being able to either. Can they not see that they are causing more harm than good? That thru the bullying and scare tactics, they are turning people off from any inkling they may have towards God? On top of that, they are making it even easier for people to castigate the efforts and motivation for the rest of us "normal" folks who only want to reflect God's love in a powerful yet non-judgemental manner.
This one guy yesterday was totally getting in people's face telling them that they deserve "righteous condemnation" for their sins. I had half a mind to walk over and speak with him. I would have but I figured that it wouldn't do any good at all. Nothing I could say would change his mind or his belief that his manner of proclamation was justifiable. I have always subscribed to St.Francis of Assisi's line of thought; "Preach the Gospel at all times and when necessary, use words" and "It is no use in walking anywhere to preach unless our walking is our preaching". My personal mode of "evangelism" ( I don't like using that word but thats a whole other subject) is predicated on those two principles. I could never bring myself to force my faith upon another verbally or otherwise. I just don't see the logic in doing so; even worse, I don't see the love in it either.

soo heated!

I was sooo pissed yesterday! I don't remember ever being this upset...I'm a well-balanced, laid back individual so for me to become this angry was a little surprising. I've been trying to get my phone back from the DA/NYPD for over 2 weeks now. I left 5 messages for the DA within a two week time-span without him returning any calls. I finally get the department to authorize the release of my cell. So I go all the way down to mid-town and have to run in the pouring rain to get to the office before it closes. I get there and they send me to police head-quarters to pick it up which is another 4 blocks away and about to close. So, I hurry out of the building and fly down to police head-quarters and have to go thru two backpack searches just to enter the building. I finally get to the Property Clerk window, and after 15 minutes of walking around, the clerk tells me that they don't have it. Now, I'm right there about to explode...but I control myself in order to figure things out. The clerk informs me to return to the precinct and speak to the property officer there b/c there isn't anything they can do here. So I ask her to write that down for me so that I can prove to the property officer that I've been to here to police head-quarters.
Before I continue let me say this; up to this point, I've been as calm as I can despite knowing that I'm totally getting the run-around. I have all this tension boiling beneath the surface from being frustrated at this whole thing. I'm mildly livid but still okay. However, all that changed in a second...there are only a few things someone can do to make me lose it; one of which is to laugh in my face while I'm angry...so as she is writing down some stuff, she's chuckling sarcastically the whole time even as she hands it to me. So right then and there, I just...I just couldn't take it anymore. I have never wanted to punch someone more than I did right there. A couple things stopped me; first, she was a chick and second, she was a cop. But I digress. The moment I took the note from her, I "expressed" my anger for a good five minutes. She stood there in shock like she couldn't believe what was happening. After which, I stormed off and slammed the flippin' door as I walked out. I didn't even care at that moment if I was in trouble or not. I was so pissed, it wasn't even funny!
I get outside and immediately find the closest payphone which was like 2 blocks away. I was so upset I didn't notice I was getting soaked until I started dialing. I called the DA's office and left a message reflective of how I was feeling at that moment. The other thing that got to me was the fact that there wasn't anything I could do anymore until the next day. So, I would be this upset the whole night which made me even more pissed. Now, I'm fuming...steam is literally coming from my head b/c it so cold outside.
I took a minute to sit down and was like,"I gotta do something to get my mind of this." There wasn't any one to call b/c I didn't have my phone; I wasn't in the mood to sit thru a movie either. So, I did the one thing that I knew would definitely put me in a better mood...hahaha...I went shopping...how funny is that?
And it so did the trick...on the subway home, I had forgotten about the cell phone and the my encounter with the clerk and everything. I was just thinking about the stuff I had found on clearance at American Eagle. What a dork, right?!
And so I was finally able to get my phone back today. You don't know how much I've missed that thing...its ridiculous. Thats like my most prized-possession right now. Its never gonna leave my sight again!

SNL 2/ Conan 1

I've had a pretty sweet weekend. Friday, I made it on Late Night with Conan...I was the first one in line at 4:30 in the morning. I know, crazy right? However, it was worth it because, unbeknownst to me at the time, they bring up the first 3 people in the stand-by line to the studio first before anyone else gets there. So, I got front aisle seats that were really cool...it was me and 5 other people in the studio checking things out for like 15 minutes. Before the show started, Conan came out to say hello to the audience and I actually shook his hand...that dude is wicked tall in person. I think that wave thing in his hair makes him even taller. The guest was the Rock who was pretty funny...needless to say, it was a really good show.
After I got out of that show, I immediately went to stand in line for SNL with a couple of people I had met while waiting for Conan tickets. (More about them later.) So its like 1am and Bill Hader( one of the new guys/he does a dead-on Al Pacino) comes and hangs out with us in line for like an hour. Then at around two in the morning, I suddenly see Tina Fey walking out of NBC Studios towards her limo cab right next to us. At first, I was like," That can't be Tina Fey" but then I realized that this was her first week back from maternity leave. So, I approached her and asked if there was any possibility of getting a picture with her. Now, I was expecting her to decline being that its like 2 am, however, she was totally cool with it and so sweet about it that she even took a couple of pics with other people as well...this made me love her even more.
(Sidenote: I absolutely adore Tina Fey and have so ever since she moved from writer to performer a few years back. I could sing her praises for days but I'll save them for another time. What I will say is this, she looked great in that picture I took...I mean, considering that it was 2 am and she had very little make-up on and she just gave birth a few weeks back...any woman who could pull that off is hands-down amazing.)
Anyway, the three of us met two other really cool people in front of us which made the wait seem a lot shorter. (More on them later too.) Come morning time, I get ticket#12 which gets me into the show later that night. Catherine Zeta-Jones was hosting with Franz Ferdinand doing the music. She did better than I had thought but I was only looking forward to "Weekend Update" with Tina Fey being back and all. And as expected, it was awesome. Its cool being on the set watching all the behind the scenes stuff too.
After the show, we hung out in the lobby for a bit so that we could talk to the cast members and stuff. I got to talk to couple of guys I really like, Seth Meyers and Will Forte, and take pics with Tina Fey(again), Will Forte, Seth Meyers, Rachel Dratch, and also said whatsup to Pat Riley(one of the best NBA coaches ever). You would think that they would rush out of the building not wanting to be bothered but all of them were extremely cool...taking pics, signing stuff, really conversing with you as opposed to just nodding their heads.
Once again, SNL was a cool experience. I'm looking forward to doing it again and meeting more awesome people in line. Thats like half the fun right there. I gotta definitely do Conan again. I also wanna see Jon Stewart as well. Maybe Letterman..we'll see.

What do you get when you combine the most popular coffee in the world with the most popular hard-cover book in the world? Read this and find out http://www.usatoday.com/news/religion/2005-10-19-starbucks-quote_x.htm. It was only a matter of time, I guess. This guy is just everywhere, isn't he?

Oddly enough again, this is the song playing as I blogged the previous post:
Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity
and I’ve been locked inside that house all the while you hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I’ve gotta get outta here
I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I’ve gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging You
To be my escape.

Relient K

dinner is served

I have this image that keeps coming back to me...its not really a dream b/c I see it in my mind when I'm awake. I don't know if my constant self-analysis has given birth to it or that its, perhaps, emanating from somewhere deeper in my psyche. Its a very vivid depiction of my internal decision making process...thats the best way to capture the essence of it. I see the complete picture...simultaneously first-hand thru my eyes as well as from the view of an observer. It comes to me at very random times, but oddly enough, only during moments when my mind is calm and at ease. Its as if beneath all other thoughts lay this one, only appearing when the others fade away. Here's my attempt to describe what I see:
I'm sitting at a small table-nothing fancy, there isn't any table cloth or other chairs. I don't notice anything else in the room except me and this table. On it, there are two dinner plates. This is where it gets a little psychological and/or interesting. On the first plate, I see my inherent weaknesses represented as an entire meal: theres a huge portion of fear of rejection and failure, with a side each of a constant need to seek approval and please others, topped off by a helping of insecurity, lightly sprinkled with self-doubt served on a platter of acute self-criticism. Everything that has ever held me back and/or still limiting me is contained on that plate. The other plate is quite different. There, I see God's love, His absolute acceptance, undeserving grace, the gifts He's given me...My gaze wavers back and forth between the two piles of "food". The sequence ends with me slowly standing to my feet as I reach for the first plate.
The whole things lasts but mere seconds. When I think about it, I don't get why it concludes that way. I mean, I guess it is somewhat reflective of the internal machinations in my life but I don't see why I reach for that plate as opposed to the other which makes alot more sense. This is one of those times in which I think I think too much.

marvel-ous!

I walked into Midtown Comics( which I must say right off the bat is the sicest comic book haven I've ever seen or been in) the other day, and it took me right back to my childhood. I was big-time into comics as a kid...looking back now, I can see why. I realized comics allowed me the opportunity to forget whatever I was going thru and escape into worlds where anything was possible. I didn't have many friends as a little tike( due to a 'lil language barrier thing) and so, as pathetic as it sounds, Peter Parker and Iron Man and Wolverine were my pals. Heck, alot of English idioms and common phrases that I learned came from those pages every week. Movies and comics played the biggest part of my Americanization when I was growing up as a foreign kid here in the States.
But I digress...so I'm basically in heaven, walking around this place filled with glee when I walked upstairs and see this DarthVader statue staring at me. Now I would post a pic of it but seeing it online doesn't quite cut it but, holy smokes, it is bad-ass in real life. I just stood there mesmerized by this thing...the menacing red light saber, the flowing jet-black cape, those piercing eyes...ahh, so sweet!
They had all kinds of stuff on the 2nd floor. Seriously, I think I was up there for about two hours looking at all the action figures, statues, busts, and collectibles. Check it out http://www.midtowncomics.com/.

athletic ability or musical talent?

If I had to decide between these two things in high school, there'd be no contest; hands down, the first one. In college, I think I'd still make the same decision. But now, I'm leaning towards the second thing. Would I rather be good at playing ball or playing the guitar? Would I replace my numchuk skills for singing/song-writing skills?

picture perfect

"The defining attribute of a Revolutionary is not whether they attend church, but whether they place God first in their lives and are willing to do whatever it takes to facilitate a deeper and growing relationship with Him and other believers. Our studies persuasively indicate that the vast majority of American churches are populated by people who are lukewarm spiritually. Emerging from those churches are people dedicated to becoming Christ-like through the guidance of a congregational form of the church, but who will leave that faith center if it does not further such a commitment to God. They then find or create alternatives that allow that commitment to flourish."
This from George Barna's new book Revolution in which he also states,"...by 2025 the local church will lose roughly half of its current “market share” and that alternative forms of faith experience and expression will pick up the slack. Importantly, Barna’s studies do not suggest that most people will drop out of a local church to simply ignore spirituality or be freed up from the demands of church life. Although there will be millions of people who abandon the entire faith community for the usual reasons – hurtful experiences in churches, lack of interest in spiritual matters, prioritizing other dimensions of their life – a growing percentage of church dropouts will be those who leave a local church in order to intentionally increase their focus on faith and to relate to God through different means."
My thoughts exactly. You can read some more here http://www.barna.org/FlexPage.aspx?Page=BarnaUpdateNarrow&BarnaUpdateID=201.

I want to find my own Elizabethtown. I'm hoping New York will be it.

This is the church I visited this morning http://www.the411nyc.com/. It was pretty sweet...the experience there was really Spirit-filled...you know the feeling you get when you're worshipping and praising, absolutely knowing the Lord is present in and among everyone there? Well, that was the sense for me during that time. I met a few people including the pastor; all of whom were really nice and friendly. The pastor spoke with incredible insight, challenging us to really see our identity in Christ. I'm looking forward to being there again next week.

Blessed be your name

in the land that is plentiful

where the streams of abundance flow

Blessed be your name

when I'm found in the desert place

though I walk through the wilderness

Blessed be your name

when the sun's shining down on me

when the world's all as it shoud be

Blessed be your name

on the road marked with suffering

oh, theres pain in the offering

Blessed be your name

Every blessing you pour out

I'll turn to praise

When the darkness closes in, Lord

Still I will say...

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be your name

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be your glorious name

Yay-yeah!

My boy Aaron just got a 33 on his Mcats! This is huge...not only b/c the score is sweet but b/c he called that exact score from the moment he finished taking it. (I'd call him but I don't have my celly still or know his number by heart.) This is something he's been working at and struggling with for so long. Hopefully, this will be the spark you need to jumpstart things, Aaron. I'm proud of ya big guy!

This week kinda sucks...I haven't really been able to talk to anyone ever since my celly got stolen a few days ago. I really don't like using public pay phones for some reason. I hope I get it back Tuesday...and that I won't have to go to court. Fingers super crossed...
This has been the only week in about 8 years in which I have neither a car or cell phone simultaneously. And let me tell you, it feels weird...

star spot

Like most people, I'm easily awed by celebrities and athletes and musicians. Its a guilty pleasure I guess. Anyway, theres this Irish pub/sports bar that I frequent in Manhattan called Scruffy Duffy's. Its a pretty sweet place; it would be an injustice to attempt to describe it in words. But last week, I was there catching a Yankee game when I happened to meet James Denton. If anybody watches "Desperate Housewives", he plays the main guy Mike Delfino. I'm actually a fan of his from a previous show called "The Pretender" in which he played this bad-ass named Mr. Lyle. He's a cool guy but once the ladies spotted him, needless to say, our conversation was over. Oh well, at least I had a beer with Mr. Lyle. I'm a nerd, I know.

Ahhh, yesterday marked my 3oth day in the Big Apple. What a weird month...I couldn't have predicted the experience so far. But I guess thats kinda good. It means I'm encountering things unfamiliar to me causing me to stretch and grow. At least thats what I tell myself.

incessant mental noise

I can't seem to sleep tonight. This is what going thru my head...things I should've said or asked in the past but didn't:
1. Dad, I forgive you. Let's move on.
2. I'm going thru an intense bout of depression. Could you stay a bit longer?
3. Yeah, let's give us a shot.
4. No, I don't think its right to petition against gay marriage.
5. I hate the fact that we just can't communicate.
6. Where do I stand?
I'm sure theres more but these six instances keep coming back to me. But as they do, I envision what the alternative would be had I given life to these (what were once difficult but now seem simple) words. Life would definitely be different...better or worse, I don't know...some scars would never have been caused while some of these different routes may have lead me down paths I may not have been prepared for.
What prevented me before? Fear...of rejection...of failure...the underlying theme of my life. These two forces are like the strong undertow sweeping opportunities and hopes away to the dark depths of the sea. And yet, even at 25, I feel as though I'm still in the midst of the current, unable to swim out and yet unwilling to cry for help as though knowing I will never fully drown in them, just struggle in the swirling waters; as if the sense of familiarity that comes with it is something I've accepted and almost expect. I know their causes, and I see their effects and yet...
Admitting this does little to ease my mind and spirit. I've had this conversation before. Perhaps, this much self-analysis isn't healthy. But Plato did always say an un-examined life isn't worth living( or something to that effect). Do I regret any of it? Regret is a strong word...besides, these omissions have shaped who I am today. Whether or not I like it is irrelevant, I think. The important part is the perpetual journey forward. Although, "Where do I stand?" intrigues me the most right now...hahaha...

What a day...during lunch today, my cell phone was stolen. I was eating lunch in the cafeteria when this guy approached me asking me about something. As I was talking to him, this other guy walked by and snatched my phone off the table. I didn't even notice anything until an undercover police officer came by and asked me if I was missing anything. It was then when I realized my phone was taken. Apparently, the officer had been trailing these two guys for awhile and saw everything that happened, and his partner caught the guy who had my phone. So, I had to take a ride in the cop car down to the police department to fill out some paperwork. My phone won't be released to me until the District Attorney's office contacts me.
Several thoughts crossed my mind...First was," What an idiot!". I couldn't believe I was stupid enough to just leave my stuff out and not even realize it was taken. Second, I was fortunate enough to have the police there. If not, my celly would have been gone for good. This made me realize how absolutely important that thing is to me. Its crazy but thats really the only means in which people can contact me. I mean, even back home, I never used the house phone. Anyone who wanted to talk to me could only do so with that number. Not only that but it contains all my contact numbers. I only have one number committed to memory...every other one is stored on my phone. So, if I had lost it, it would have been really difficult for anyone to reach me and even more arduous for me to call anyone.
I guess today is another reminder of how essential technology is in our lives...well, that and I gotta be more careful.

On the way home from Boston, I was thinking about the things I remember most from my childhood up 'til now. I realized the things I remember weren't actually "things", in and of themselves, but times and people...more specifically times with people. I can recall specific instances of being with someone or someones that directly affected me in one manner or another; in my recollection, I can hear conversations that shifted my paradigms of life and faith and fun; these moments in time have been frozen in my mind in a way that makes me wonder, if the majority of the experiences in our lives are comprised of times with people, then why all this emphasis on accumulating more and bigger "things"? Is it so we can share in more experiences with more people? I'd like to hope so but I think thats a bit idealistic.

Heartbreakin'

My Yanks just lost...to the flippin' Angels again. This is tragic on so many levels...for one, you can ask anybody who knows me, I'm a huge Yankee fan. With me moving here to NYC, I was hoping to catch a World Series game and possibly witness a Championship parade, but I guess those hopes will have to be put on hold. Two, I had tickets to the ALCS; I stayed up all night and then some for them. But the saddest part is that my good friend Ron was planning to fly out to catch a game if the Yanks were to play his White Sox. So, I'm most bummed about not being able to hang out with him at Yankee Stadium.
But I will take consolation in two things. First, the Red Sox not only lost before us but got swept. Their whole team is gonna be dismantled, literally, which puts a smile on my face. Second, I did get to catch a few games at historic Yankee Stadium. I was even there for an ALDS game in which we won; that was pretty sweet.
So, I guess I gotta sit back and wait for next year...again.

crazy...

Yesterday, the mayor and the FBI released information about a possible terrorist bomb threat to NYC subways...I had a feeling something was up when the police were searching thru bags and stuff, but I didn't really know about it until I got home and saw the announcement on TV. When I got a text from Shannon about subways and bombs, I was like," What is going on?"
I'll have to admit, it was a bit unnerving riding the subway today. I've heard about NYC threats before but that was when I was living on the other side of the country...its kinda weird to be here in the midst of it all. Most people went about things like normal, but I guess they're used to it now. I don't know whats more sad; the actual possibility of threat or the fact that people here have to live with such things so much that they're accustomed to it. Since I'm still adjusting to life here, its all a little eerie...

Its amazing where God meets you...in a small meadow with blades of grass dancing back and forth, wind gliding over your skin, the sound of water flowing down smooth stones, leaves rustling and floating in the crisp air...

Speak, in this close communion

Though this hour seems timeless still

I wait for the words that bid me come

So I await the words that you say

I open my life

I am longing just to hear thes words

That you say, that you say

Something Like Silas

Manhattan, what a place...I go from being on SNL in NBC Studios one day to being with the Lord in Central Park the next...from being part of a complex, quick-paced life to being offered the chance to slow down and see beauty in the simplicity of things as well...if these experiences continue, it may be difficult to return home...

Central Park

Last Sunday, I spent the afternoon in Central Park. It was such a nice day with the sun beaming thru the occasional cloud. The weather was perfect allowing everyone to engage in whatever park activity they fancied. As I sat there and looked across the shimmering surface of one of many lakes and over the line of trees, I couldn't help but notice the wonderful juxtaposition of nature and man-made conventions. It was a beautiful sight to behold elegant,wavering trees with grand, towering buildings just beyond them in the background. On one side of the street, you have grass and meadow and water, and on the other, you have glass and metal and concrete. Most of the pics I took included this intriguing dichotomy. I found it to be strangely appealing. I can't imagine the view from one of those balconies. Must be breath-taking though...

who knows?

I read somewhere( or maybe I heard it in a song?) that God places people in your life for a season, but its up to you to determine the reason. I'm starting to think thats true. We can't choose who comes into our lives but we can decide how to interact with them right?
Some times we don't even realize the impact a person has on us until they are no longer there...I believe that there are a few times where you can't determine the change or influence someone has on you until even later on in life...like after you go thru something or some major event occurs, then its like," Now I know why she was there" or "thats what that conversation was really about." Other times, you just might not be ready to see the change or mature enough to handle it.
I think part of the reason why we take people in our lives for granted is due to our inability( or lack of motivation) to figure out why they are there or have even taken time to contemplate the reason. Surely, we can't know in detail the extent of all our relationships but can't it be good to try? At least some of them? What if I tried serving those around me while growing with them and learning with and about them as well? What if this was attempted from my family to friends to co-workers to classmates to who knows?
And I'm just referring to the people with whom you spend the majority of life together. Because every so often in even rarer occasions, your life collides with another unexpectedly, seemingly by chance. But its within that one conversation or even brief moments together, that you're like," Hmm, wow...something just happened but I don't know what." And yet down the line, you come to understand the what and the why.

Hmmm...

Have I been mistaking being content with being complacent? Or being complacent with being content? If its yes either way, it can't be good right?

Oh Lord, why did you forsake me?

Oh Lord, don't be far away away

Storm clouds gathering beside me

Please Lord, don't look the other way

Crooked souls trying to stay up straight

Dry eyes in the pouring rain, well

The shadow proves the sunshine

The shadow proves the sunshine

Switchfoot

What the heck?

Look, I knew coming here was gonna be hard but c'mon now...I figured In 'n Out was a West Coast thing but no Jack in the Box in NYC? Or Carl's Jr? The only Taco Bell I've seen is at school. Theres like 2 McDonald's on every block here. I think Ronny Mac owns the city. I mean, I'm not complaining that much 'cause I'm a big fan of the guy but dude, theres no burger I can order that has bacon on it! By the way, this whole East Coast Whitecastle thing...yeah, no thanks buddy, you guys suck.

no r.e.m.

Is it weird that I haven't been dreaming lately? Or is it weird that I'm able to notice this peculiarity? From what I know, your dream state is produced during rapid eye movement, so am I not experiencing the r.e.m. cycle? I don't think thats physically or scientifically possible but...I don't know. Is there some mental barrier thats hindering my state of unconsciousness? But I am sleeping well though. Its just odd not be dreaming, I guess.

Live from New York...

So how sic is this? I got on SNL last night! Steve Carell was hosting, and Kanye performed...it was sooo sweet! I've liked Steve Carell since he was on the Daily Show with Jon Stewart back in the day...the guy is flippin' hilarious. He did really good last night too. Kanye blew up the spot...he did my favorite song right now,"Golddigga". Then, for his second set, he brought out Adam Levine to do their track together. Cash!
They were handing out stand-by tix at 7am sat. morning. So, I get there at like 4am thinking," What the heck, I'll get their a 'lil early" but I get there, and theres people camping out in line with tables and sleeping bags and stuff. That diminished my hopes a bit but it was all good. I met these cool people in line which made the whole situation alot better. There were these two girls from Boston who had a pretty sweet Bol-ston accent. In front of us were these two guys from Toronto;one of whom looked exactly like Harold from "Harold and Kumar". And his buddy was an Indian dude too...so the whole time, it was nothing but "Harold and Kumar" references, Canadian "ay" jokes, and Red Sox/Yankee "discussions". Our tix were like in the 40's but still got to go on the show later that night.
Oh and get this, Doogie Howser was sitting 3 seats over from us! Doogie flippin' Howser! After the show, we got to see the cast members and take pics as they were leaving the studio. Everyone was really cool, signing autographs and talking to people. I was kinda bummed that Tina Fey wasn't there...I guess she was busy giving birth to some kid. Whats up with that?